Hey Young World,
I'm gonna be real honest here, I've experienced this FIRST HAND and in no way am I degrading, hating or pointing fingers, this is just the the cold truth, flat out. Growing up I seen D-boys getting money shining, all the baddest chics, cars , clothes , etc. and it was intriguing. At the time, I didn't realize that young girls were seeing the same thing I was. Instead of my older friends who were hustling (didn't have too much family my age), they were seeing older sisters, cousins, etc. who were getting bought whatever they wanted because they were dating a drug dealer. We don't really think about this, but since alot of these kids growing up watching this didn't have the parental guidance to let them know this was called a "shortcut", as opposed to getting a job and getting it honestly, man or woman, to some degree we accepted this as our society. Real talk, why would a dude go to a club and buy $500 worth of bottles? We are programmed, due to rap music, and the neighborhoods we grew up in to idolize the man that "got money to blow" and the woman that "can make him blow it on her". Fab said "Throw it in the bag", and T.I. said "You can have whatever you like". Now, all young black males are heavily influenced by hip hop, so they believe they have to live by hip hop's rules to be successful to some degree, if not given the proper morals by their parents. Therefore, a young black male can't buy a chic gucci bags, pop bottles of Moet in the club at $135 a pop ($30 at the state store, this is rape) and drive a car with 24's on it on a McDonald's salary. Bottomline. The "Ball til I fall" mentality suggests, either get rich or die tryin, or go to jail. Since there's no long term goals involved, why not cop a $50 bag of crack and that's the jump-off? Problem is, fast money is as addictive as crack itself, and you spend it just as fast as you make it subconciously. It was hard for me to adjust to a regular job and waiting for a paycheck every two weeks, when I was getting paid every day!! So I did BOTH for a very long time, because I felt stupid having a college degree and JUST HUSTLING. (yes, you can shake your head lol) Anyway, back to the guy in the club with the bottles of Mo, Ciroc, and Patron. Honestly, if there was no chics in that club, would he have bought all of those bottles? Hell no!! He bought them specifically because there was a significant amount of "bad chics" in there, and he's showing out. This is a fact, I've done it myself. Now, he's programmed to think that he can only have the baddest chics if he has money, that's what he seen growing up. The bad chics in there are programmed to be attracted to men with money (not all women of course), so she sees he has bottles, he tells her to get a glass, and they go from there. This is the most superficial way to meet somebody in history!! I'd rather meet a chic at the grocery store personally, plain jane. Anyway, since he's presented himself as a money maker, and felt that was his best foot forward, how can he be mad at her for becoming a golddigger with him? He basically gave her the green light to get spoiled and cashed out, right? On the other hand, how can she get mad at him if he implicates that he wants sex in return? By accepting the drinks, gifts, money, etc, isn't she inviting the thought he'll "get what he's paying for"? We are BRAINWASHED as a society, and must realize that if we're gonna say we "keepin' it hunnid", do that. We are using money and sex as weapons against each other and don't even recognize it. Men-We're using money to mesmorize women instead of our personality. Women-You're using your beauty and shape to mesmorize men instead of your personality. What happen's when the drought comes? What happens when she gets pregnant and puts on a few pounds? Now you have to deal with that personality-ANYWAY. Why not make that your best foot forward in the beginning? Men with money, and beautiful women you would think had the most self confidence, but how when you use the superficial to attract the opposite sex instead of you? I'm just as guilty of this as anyone, I just learned through experience that it only attracts the wrong kind of people in general. We have to adopt a new mindframe, or there will always be a high single mother rate, divorce rate, and disease rate in the black community if we're "hooking up" because of this dream lifestyle we all have been programmed to want to live. Fellas, if you make money your best asset, don't get offended when she leaves you for somebody with twice the bank account and cars. Ladies, if you make looks your best asset, don't get offended when he leaves you for somebody prettier, with a more curvacious body. If you give yourself, they will never find anyone like you. Think about it.
Tuesday, November 9, 2010
Saturday, November 6, 2010
A Mans Love-No strings attached
Hey Young World,
Before I dive into this seriously deep subject, I just want to assure you that this conclusion is from in depth experience on both sides of the spectrum. I have literally seen, and now fully understand the direct results of
the absence of a man in a young woman's life...without seeking benefit. I have went from being a self proclaimed "Legendary Playa" to a nurturing father to my daughter, and because of my findings, I have promised myself to be a intricate part of her childhood and development into a strong black woman. Through many relationships with women over the years, all over the country, from entertainment ventures, to black college experiences, to involvement in the streets, I've come to one main conclusion. The women that I had the easiest time manipulating were the ones that I found out later had the least involvement with their fathers, or any positive male figure growing up. When I say this, it doesn't just stop at the cowards who chose not to deal with their seeds at all, because of the conflict with the mom, or the mom not "wanting" them anymore. There is also the dad who financially was there, but not emotionally and timewise. I've found out directly from my eight year old's mouth, that she would take spending time with me ten out of ten times compared to me buying her a toy, or giving her some money for candy. There's also the undependable dad, who is in his daughter's life, pays child support but makes it obvious that she's not a priority. Sometimes this is unintentional, but we as men have to recognize it and correct it immediately. Men, do you know why alot of black women are crazy, insecure, promiscuous, paranoid, etc? Here we go. A mother can only do so much, but what I've found is that the women who's father's fit in the aforementioned categories above never got the love and attention from a positive male at the most crucial times, from childhood through the teenage years. Therefore, the first dude, a boy in school, a pimp, older guy or whatever that showed them "love" in their eyes, they clinged to them. Here's the problem though, those males had alterior motives. It was not selfless love for this girl, it was looking for a benefit from this girl. Some males have a sense for weak, and easily manipulated girls and prey on it. A daddy loves his daughter because that's his daughter, his blood, a part of him, that's all. He wants nothing in return but love back. Those other guys want sex, a potential money maker, props at their school because she's the "baddest", etc. All of these things are benefitting them, and they are using her lack of love from a male to capitalize on it. Now don't get it twisted, this is not every male, there's always the boy that's really in love, but let's be honest, they're few and far in between. Anyway, once the girl clings to this first "love of her life", since that's her perceived love interest, she accepts the good and the bad. Whether it be physical abuse, cheating, verbal abuse or whatever, since this man supposedly loves them, they feel that just comes with the territory. Black men ask why black women love bad boys so much, and say they want a gentlemen, but keep ending up with the same type of dude. Most of the time, it was the first kind of dude they ever dealt with, and subconciously they keep finding the same kind of dude. Can I be honest ladies, that's called INSANITY " Doing the same thing over and over again expecting a different result." It's not their fault though completely, father's must share the blame. The women I know who had father's who nurtured them, were there every step of the way emotionally, financially, timewise etc., were by far the hardest to manipulate and take advantage of. You know why, they can always say "I don't need you, I got my DADDY!! "Yes he can't be a romantic interest of course, but what that does is make any man that pursues this women work harder to prove his love, because she isn't longing for it. She knows there's a man that has her back regardless, and ultimately she will have a better relationship, because her man had to show and prove. I can guarantee you that an improvement in fatherhood in our community would lead to less single young mothers, prostitutes, scorn women etc. We as men don't want to accept the responsibility, but we have a major role in the development of young black women. Do you realize the affect that more young black male teachers would have on girls that were a positive influence on them, that wasn't trying to sleep with them as soon as they turned eighteen? Think about it. Young black females need a male's love, with no strings attached. It will make them 100% stronger in our society....bottomline.
Before I dive into this seriously deep subject, I just want to assure you that this conclusion is from in depth experience on both sides of the spectrum. I have literally seen, and now fully understand the direct results of
the absence of a man in a young woman's life...without seeking benefit. I have went from being a self proclaimed "Legendary Playa" to a nurturing father to my daughter, and because of my findings, I have promised myself to be a intricate part of her childhood and development into a strong black woman. Through many relationships with women over the years, all over the country, from entertainment ventures, to black college experiences, to involvement in the streets, I've come to one main conclusion. The women that I had the easiest time manipulating were the ones that I found out later had the least involvement with their fathers, or any positive male figure growing up. When I say this, it doesn't just stop at the cowards who chose not to deal with their seeds at all, because of the conflict with the mom, or the mom not "wanting" them anymore. There is also the dad who financially was there, but not emotionally and timewise. I've found out directly from my eight year old's mouth, that she would take spending time with me ten out of ten times compared to me buying her a toy, or giving her some money for candy. There's also the undependable dad, who is in his daughter's life, pays child support but makes it obvious that she's not a priority. Sometimes this is unintentional, but we as men have to recognize it and correct it immediately. Men, do you know why alot of black women are crazy, insecure, promiscuous, paranoid, etc? Here we go. A mother can only do so much, but what I've found is that the women who's father's fit in the aforementioned categories above never got the love and attention from a positive male at the most crucial times, from childhood through the teenage years. Therefore, the first dude, a boy in school, a pimp, older guy or whatever that showed them "love" in their eyes, they clinged to them. Here's the problem though, those males had alterior motives. It was not selfless love for this girl, it was looking for a benefit from this girl. Some males have a sense for weak, and easily manipulated girls and prey on it. A daddy loves his daughter because that's his daughter, his blood, a part of him, that's all. He wants nothing in return but love back. Those other guys want sex, a potential money maker, props at their school because she's the "baddest", etc. All of these things are benefitting them, and they are using her lack of love from a male to capitalize on it. Now don't get it twisted, this is not every male, there's always the boy that's really in love, but let's be honest, they're few and far in between. Anyway, once the girl clings to this first "love of her life", since that's her perceived love interest, she accepts the good and the bad. Whether it be physical abuse, cheating, verbal abuse or whatever, since this man supposedly loves them, they feel that just comes with the territory. Black men ask why black women love bad boys so much, and say they want a gentlemen, but keep ending up with the same type of dude. Most of the time, it was the first kind of dude they ever dealt with, and subconciously they keep finding the same kind of dude. Can I be honest ladies, that's called INSANITY " Doing the same thing over and over again expecting a different result." It's not their fault though completely, father's must share the blame. The women I know who had father's who nurtured them, were there every step of the way emotionally, financially, timewise etc., were by far the hardest to manipulate and take advantage of. You know why, they can always say "I don't need you, I got my DADDY!! "Yes he can't be a romantic interest of course, but what that does is make any man that pursues this women work harder to prove his love, because she isn't longing for it. She knows there's a man that has her back regardless, and ultimately she will have a better relationship, because her man had to show and prove. I can guarantee you that an improvement in fatherhood in our community would lead to less single young mothers, prostitutes, scorn women etc. We as men don't want to accept the responsibility, but we have a major role in the development of young black women. Do you realize the affect that more young black male teachers would have on girls that were a positive influence on them, that wasn't trying to sleep with them as soon as they turned eighteen? Think about it. Young black females need a male's love, with no strings attached. It will make them 100% stronger in our society....bottomline.
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